Isaiah 30

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, 'In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." 30:15

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, 'Be gone!'" 30:18-22

This Beer is For You

Amy and I were sitting on the balcony yesterday and had front row seats to all that was happening on the beach. Some entrepreneurs had set up tables and were selling beer. There were people throwing footballs and frisbees. We watched drunk teenagers play the dizzy bat game - you spin around about 10 times with your head down on the end of a bat and then, once you are dizzy, and in this case, drunk, you try to hit a ball with the bat. Most of them ended up face first in the sand and ocean. The beach below us was covered with activity. All of this, coupled with conversations we have overheard in the halls and elevators, can be so funny to begin with, but then it all just becomes really sad.

Amy has always had incredible insight into situations and she makes you think about things in ways you wouldn't normally think about them. She began talking about what was going on this week and how sad this whole spring break scene made her; she was really feeling sorry for the girls. The guys they are with want to get them drunk and uninhibited and mindless. They aren't safe with these boys and these boys have no concern for the girls; the thought of protecting these girls has not even crossed their minds.

I pondered this for a while and was overwhelmingly thankful for a few of the guys in my life. When I am around them, I feel cared for, protected, and safe, in several ways. I can even recall specific incidences where I knew I was being looked after by them. I won't name names here but you will get a personal thanks from me soon.

Oh, the title of this post comes from a conversation I had with a boy in the elevator my first day. I was going down to meet Amy and help her unload her car. When you are on the 22nd floor of a building full of people who are coming and going from the beach and pool, the elevator tends to stop on practically every floor. This boy and his two friends got on the elevator a couple of floors after I got on. We were the only 4 on there. He was pulling a huge cooler overflowing with various Budweiser beverages, and he was carrying a funnel that was already full. When he stepped on, he looked at me, smiled, said "I knew you were going to be on here; this beer is for you," and held out the funnel. It made me laugh and I politely turned him down - I don't like beer. As we continued to stop on other floors and the elevator filled up, he moved back against the wall beside me and propped his elbow on my shoulder. We arrived at the lobby and all went our separate ways. It has been an interesting week.

I Heart Valet Parking

Terry, Amy, and I have said for years that the three of us should take a big trip the year we turn 40. That would be this year, 2009. Amy was the first to get there, back in January, Terry's birthday is next week, and I will arrive in October. I don't like to think about turning 40. I am not excited about it. I DO NOT want to do it. I am not old enough to be 40! The majority of my friends, however, are somewhere between 6 and 13 years younger than me, so maybe this is the reason I have never really felt my age; until today.

I got up this morning and decided to get out of the condo. I called the front desk to have my car brought around and then I drove to Target. It isn't a Super Target so they didn't have all the groceries I wanted. That was fine with me; I decided to go to Publix. I drove down Back Beach Road and over to Middle Beach Road where I remembered seeing it on the map. I was so pleased with myself when I saw it up ahead of me...then I pulled into the parking lot. You would have thought I was at an SEC football game about an hour before kick off. There were swarms (not kidding) of college students parking and walking into Publix. The place was packed! I took a deep breath and joined them. It was quite humorous watching groups of boys and girls decide what to buy. I have never seen so many underage people trying to decide what alcohol to buy. I weaved in and out of the various groups who had no concern for anyone but themselves; the insecurity could be felt at every turn. I actually laughed to myself a few times; I was so glad to not be one of them.

I walked out of Publix with a little more than then items on my list...I left with a new appreciation for where I am in life. For the first time in a very long time I actually felt my age and was okay with it.

Spring Break!! Woo Hoo!!!

I haven't been to Panama City Beach in years but I chose Spring Break 09 to come back, along with about 1 million college students and a few high school students. I am extremely excited about the next 4-5 days because Amy Cardin MacCaughelty and Terry Axford Whitmore are coming down to stay with me. Amy and I have been friends since college and Terry and I got to be friends right after college. The three of us were roommates about 10+ years ago. We are going to spend the next few days watching movies, reading, laughing, and catching up. I have actually made a list of things of want to do during this week, either while they are here or after they leave on Thursday.

• exercise
• write letters to a couple of friends
• read my Bible
• write my Uganda follow-up letter (I KNOW!!! I am horrible)
• finish reading "Same Kind of Different As Me"
• paint my nails
• crochet a little on my blanket (that I started when I found out Shea was pregnant)
• work on my budget (yes, I actually want to do this)
• blog

Wanna see something funny?



All that is my luggage. One is clothes, one is shoes, one is toiletries, and the other is movies and books. I couldn't decide what bring and what to leave behind. Oh well, at least I have it if I need it.

Romans 5:5

We Are So Fragile

He woke up today just like every other school day. He got dressed, ate breakfast, argued with his sister, and probably listened to his mom rush him because they were running a little late. His mom was attending a parent conference before school to go over his test scores and he had to be there with her to hear what was being said. He grabbed his poster for the book report he had to give today and they were out the door. The weather was dreary and it had begun to rain. As they pulled into the school parking lot, all he could think of was getting this day over with so the weekend could begin. Nothing special was planned but at least he wouldn't be at school. They hurriedly walked into the school library to sit down with the counselor and talk about what he could do to perform better on the upcoming standardized tests. "I will be glad when all this is over with; I am so tired of hearing about testing," he thought. He listened respectfully, and somewhat humbly, as his mom reminded him that he lives a life of privilege; she does not require him to work and he is allowed to participate in any extracurricular activity he desires, namely, baseball. All she asks in return is that he give his best effort in school. That shouldn't be asking too much but how can he concentrate on school and academics when all he wants to do is play ball? He promised to give it his best and asked his mom to once again pronounce the title of the book he would be presenting in class shortly. "Roberto Clemente, Roberto Clemente." He repeated it a couple of times to help him remember. The parent conference ended, he hugged his mom, and went on to class.

The next couple of hours went on as expected: math intervention, resource class, PE, lunch. He had no idea that this was the last "normal" moment of his life. The intercom came on in the classroom and unexpectedly, they called for him to come to the office to check out. In confusion, he gathered his books and backpack and headed down the hall and down stairs. "What is Nanna doing here?" he wondered as he opened the office door. As he walked in, she leaned down and hugged him tight; she was acting a little weird and her eyes looked swollen. "Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

As they walked out of the school building, he knew something was wrong. In less than an hour, his 10 year old life would be turned upside down and changed forever. Soon he would hear the story about the car accident his mom had been involved in this morning on her way to another meeting. Nanna was taking him to say goodbye to his mother.



The "he" in my story is named Fred. He is a 4th grader at my school and he makes me smile, even when he is being defiant or lazy. He is just one of those kids that leave you no other choice but to like him. I got to tell his mom that this morning during our conference. On her way back to work, as she was merging onto the interstate, she hydroplaned across all lanes, across the median, and into oncoming traffic. She was brain dead upon arrival at the hospital. I have thought about this from Fred's perspective most of the day and my heart absolutely breaks for him. These are the times when I hate my job. Fred has an older sister who is a Senior, and a younger sister who is 3 1/2. Please pray for the Stewart family.

The Good Confession

About 4-5 years ago, there was a student at my school who had a pretty big temper/rage problem. He did not like authority AT ALL but, for some reason, he and I had a good rapport. One day I got a call from the office that I was needed in one of the 5th grade classrooms. When I got upstairs, I found an empty classroom except for JT, who was in one of his rages. He was so angry that the teacher felt she needed to evacuate the room for the safety of the other students. I walked into the room with the other counselor, closed the door and just watched him as he ranted furiously around the room, growling, screaming, and slamming his fists on tables and into the walls. We tried talking to him to calm him down but it did not work. Finally, I just grabbed JT from behind and held on with all I had in me. He struggled against me and screamed for a couple of minutes, but soon, he calmed down and we were able to walk down to the office without another episode. I have no idea what set him off but if I had to guess, it probably involved being asked to do something he didn't think was fair or he got caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

As I was praying for a friend this morning, this very vivid memory came flooding back to me, along with the words of Andrew Peterson's "The Good Confession." I have listened to this over and over recently and here is the part that sticks with me:

All I know is that I was blind but now I see that though I kick and scream, Love is leading me. And every step of the way his grace is making me; with every breath I breathe, he is saving me. And I believe.

My prayer for my friend, and for myself, is that our Father, who loves us greatly, would lead us to find our joy and delight in Him alone. Even though we kick and scream and struggle against your arms folded around us, I pray that Your grace would lead us to know your love and trust that You are good. Hosanna, save us from ourselves!