I Should Be Ashamed

I spent the first two days of this week having an intimate little pity party. I won't bore you with the reasons, and looking back, I'm really ashamed that I got upset over such trivial things. Wednesday, the Lord decided to show me just what a brat I was being. One of my students (we'll call her Kara) came to my office that morning because she was upset about her mom. She is in the 4th grade which means she is probably around 10 years old. I've known this girl for 4 years and had no idea her life was in such turmoil. Her mom has been in a nursing home for 8 years with MS. They had to put her there because the father has to work and can't take care of her during the day. Kara was upset this week because her mom was not alert when she went to visit her this past weekend. Kara talked about her mom's illness and knowing that her mom would probably die soon. After a little more time of me just listening to her and offering what few words I could find, she wanted to go back to class. As she walked out of my office, my eyes filled with tears. I have no reason to feel sorry for myself. I was informed today that her mom passed away either last night or this morning.

Last year, one of our 4th graders was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He underwent treatment and responded beautifully; the tumor disappeared. Jonathan resumed a fairly normal 11 year old life and was able to start the 5th grade only a week or so after his classmates. He went Wednesday for a routine CAT scan and they found out that the tumor is back. This was completely unexpected and has hit his family pretty hard. They are Christians but I know they have to be battling with wondering why.

I know that we all have our own emotional and physical battles. While most are not as traumatic as a 10 year old girl losing her mom or an 11 year old finding out his brain tumor is back, they are still "big" in our own eyes. But things like this tend to put life into perspective. I'm sure it won't be long before I'm feeling sorry for myself again about something insignificant, but my prayer is that I would spend more time being thankful for what I do have and less time pitying myself for what I think is missing in my life.

Please pray for Kara, Jonathan, and their families.