It's late and I should be asleep. I have a"big" day ahead of me tomorrow. But I can't sleep. Jonathan's funeral is tomorrow. Jonathan was a student at my school who was diagnosed with a brain tumor last year. He passed away in his sleep early this past Saturday morning. I've been sick all weekend and so today is the first time I've really allowed myself to think about Jonathan and his family. The only thing I can say is that I am deeply saddened. My heart breaks for his mom and dad and younger sister. I'm sad that his friends have to experience the pain of such loss at such a young age. I'm just sad!
Since I couldn't sleep, I thought I would check my email. I hope the original author doesn't mind me posting this but it was very encouraging to my heart.
“CHfJ” has been on the board in my cubicle for the past few months, in bright lime green – Complete Healing for Jonathan. It was a reminder to pray for Jonathan every time I saw it.
I just erased these letters a few minutes ago. But not in defeat – no, they were erased because God has answered our prayers. Now I must confess that I had planned for God to heal Jonathan here – to make him well and allow him to grow up and be with his family. The way God actually answered my prayer had not crossed my mind until my Saturday morning walk. Jonathan is completely healed now. I know this to be a fact; with every fiber of my being I know this.
There is nothing that man can say that makes any difference or that really matters; whatever we think of to say sounds trite and ineffective. Not so with God.
Jesus says in Matthew 28:20 “I am with you always.”
I recently read this quote: “Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of God.”
We know that Jonathan is healed and with Jesus the Christ. But our hearts are breaking for our friends, for their loss, for what we will miss. Praise God that we have His presence - we have true hope. We are never alone.
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27 (NLT)
Terry shared with me Saturday evening that Jill and Jonathan had a little game they played where she would ask him “Who do you love the most - daddy or mommy?” Of course, when she asked this the expected answer was “Mommy.” A while ago she was playing the game and asked Jonathan who he loved the most – Jonathan answered, without hesitation “Jesus.”
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Still Daddy's Little Girl
My daddy said something to me today that meant more to me than he'll ever know. The context of it is silly but the words were so powerful for me for some reason.
For the past several years, I have used his copy of TurboTax to file my taxes. When I asked him yesterday if he had this year's version, he told me that he hadn't gotten it yet and that it was my turn to buy it. He said it jokingly but that got me to thinking; why shouldn't I buy it this year? I called him this afternoon to ask him if he preferred TurboTax or another brand and he asked why I wanted to know. When I told him I was going to get it this year, he told me I didn't have to do that. To which I asked why. His reply was "because you are still my daughter." It may not sound like a lot to most of you but it was huge for me. Don't misunderstand, I have the best parents anyone could ask for and I know for certain that they love me and "won't ever stop loving me," but at that moment, I felt loved in a way I'm not sure I can explain. I'm 38 years old and I'm still a daddy's girl. Thank you, daddy!
I have played that over and over in my head today, and the Lord has used it to give me a very clear picture of His love for me. We sang this song in church today and it broke my heart. Truly our Father loves us!
How Deep the Father's Love For Us
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
For the past several years, I have used his copy of TurboTax to file my taxes. When I asked him yesterday if he had this year's version, he told me that he hadn't gotten it yet and that it was my turn to buy it. He said it jokingly but that got me to thinking; why shouldn't I buy it this year? I called him this afternoon to ask him if he preferred TurboTax or another brand and he asked why I wanted to know. When I told him I was going to get it this year, he told me I didn't have to do that. To which I asked why. His reply was "because you are still my daughter." It may not sound like a lot to most of you but it was huge for me. Don't misunderstand, I have the best parents anyone could ask for and I know for certain that they love me and "won't ever stop loving me," but at that moment, I felt loved in a way I'm not sure I can explain. I'm 38 years old and I'm still a daddy's girl. Thank you, daddy!
I have played that over and over in my head today, and the Lord has used it to give me a very clear picture of His love for me. We sang this song in church today and it broke my heart. Truly our Father loves us!
How Deep the Father's Love For Us
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Saturday, February 9, 2008
What the Heck?
Someone has flagged my blog as having "objectionable content." Who would do such a thing?
Jumping Jacks and Ode to Day Zero
More and more people have told me recently that they found my blog or told someone about my blog and that is great; I welcome that. But that has caused me to struggle a good bit with what to write here. There are things I want to write about but I feel like I have to censor myself because I don't want to offend anyone who may be reading this. Well, I've come to this conclusion: this is my blog and I'm going to write what I feel like writing and if someone is offended, I apologize. With that being said, I'm going to take a few lines and vent.
This has been a ridiculous week at work. My principal got wind that morale in the ranks was not good and that there were some unhappy teachers. It all started because our PE teachers, in an effort to provide real life experiences for our students by taking them on a field trip, had to cancel their classes for part of two days last week. Now, I understand that teachers need their time each day away from their students to plan, have conferences, get things done, and go to the bathroom. Heck, if I were in the classroom with students all day I would be screaming for a break as well. But what really gets me is that some of the one's who screamed so loudly about this were not affected by the change in schedule at all. Our boss designated Monday's faculty meeting as a "Gripe Session." He gave them the opportunity to voice their concerns, anonymously. If someone had a concern, they were to type it up and put it in a box in the teacher's lounge. I was very interested, and a little nervous, to see how this was going to go.
I have never been as frustrated (let's be honest here, I was angry) with some of my co-workers as I was this past Monday afternoon. There were probably 12 typed "documents" in the box and I would say that only about 1/2 of them were legitimate concerns about our students or the school, and several of those were repeats. The rest were petty, mean, vindictive, cowardly, personal attacks on our BOSS and about 5 other people. The authors of the 2-3 page crap would never have had the guts to say any of that had this not been anonymous.
In my opinion, if morale is low, it's not because of the paperwork or anything else listed in those pages. Morale is low because when we are not happy about something, we run to everyone who will listen and complain about it and the powers that be instead of taking our concerns directly to the one who is in charge. Morale is low because we are self-centered, self-righteous, arrogant people, who are only looking out for ourselves instead of what is best for our precious students. And I am the chief of all sinners here. I am just arrogant enough to think that I'm not one of "them," that I'm better than the pot stirrers and complainers, but I'm not. I don't do my job to the best of my ability. I complain about the complainers and other things I don't like. I talk about the people I don't like behind their backs. I look out for #1. I demand grace from others, not to mention from my Heavenly Father, but I don't want to give grace to those around me. For this and for so much more, I truly am sorry.
Yes, it has been a ridiculous week at school, but the Lord is using every bit of this to make me more like Christ. He has exposed my sin and that is hard, but He has also reminded me (through friends) that I am in desperate need of His grace and mercy every day. I was reminded that I deserve nothing except hell, and am owed nothing, but because of His great love for me, He has given me EVERYTHING through Christ Jesus.
We had a dance at school tonight. It was fun to watch the students, and some of the teachers, cut loose and have fun. I was gently reminded tonight that I have been blessed with this job. I am realizing more and more each day how much I truly LOVE the students at my school and that I love most of my co-workers (Lord, help me to love them all). Thank you, Lord!
This has been a ridiculous week at work. My principal got wind that morale in the ranks was not good and that there were some unhappy teachers. It all started because our PE teachers, in an effort to provide real life experiences for our students by taking them on a field trip, had to cancel their classes for part of two days last week. Now, I understand that teachers need their time each day away from their students to plan, have conferences, get things done, and go to the bathroom. Heck, if I were in the classroom with students all day I would be screaming for a break as well. But what really gets me is that some of the one's who screamed so loudly about this were not affected by the change in schedule at all. Our boss designated Monday's faculty meeting as a "Gripe Session." He gave them the opportunity to voice their concerns, anonymously. If someone had a concern, they were to type it up and put it in a box in the teacher's lounge. I was very interested, and a little nervous, to see how this was going to go.
I have never been as frustrated (let's be honest here, I was angry) with some of my co-workers as I was this past Monday afternoon. There were probably 12 typed "documents" in the box and I would say that only about 1/2 of them were legitimate concerns about our students or the school, and several of those were repeats. The rest were petty, mean, vindictive, cowardly, personal attacks on our BOSS and about 5 other people. The authors of the 2-3 page crap would never have had the guts to say any of that had this not been anonymous.
In my opinion, if morale is low, it's not because of the paperwork or anything else listed in those pages. Morale is low because when we are not happy about something, we run to everyone who will listen and complain about it and the powers that be instead of taking our concerns directly to the one who is in charge. Morale is low because we are self-centered, self-righteous, arrogant people, who are only looking out for ourselves instead of what is best for our precious students. And I am the chief of all sinners here. I am just arrogant enough to think that I'm not one of "them," that I'm better than the pot stirrers and complainers, but I'm not. I don't do my job to the best of my ability. I complain about the complainers and other things I don't like. I talk about the people I don't like behind their backs. I look out for #1. I demand grace from others, not to mention from my Heavenly Father, but I don't want to give grace to those around me. For this and for so much more, I truly am sorry.
Yes, it has been a ridiculous week at school, but the Lord is using every bit of this to make me more like Christ. He has exposed my sin and that is hard, but He has also reminded me (through friends) that I am in desperate need of His grace and mercy every day. I was reminded that I deserve nothing except hell, and am owed nothing, but because of His great love for me, He has given me EVERYTHING through Christ Jesus.
We had a dance at school tonight. It was fun to watch the students, and some of the teachers, cut loose and have fun. I was gently reminded tonight that I have been blessed with this job. I am realizing more and more each day how much I truly LOVE the students at my school and that I love most of my co-workers (Lord, help me to love them all). Thank you, Lord!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Love the Polo
We have a little boy and girl in Kindergarten, who are twins, and their names are Ralph and Lauren. Isn't that funny?
Friday, February 1, 2008
Sorry I Couldn't Make It
One of my fears became reality this past week. I was on my way to the church after school to help prepare for the Missions Conference that night. I was sitting in traffic in the center lane on Hwy. 280, at about 4:15 pm, when my car stalled. Let me repeat that: 4:15 pm, center lane on Hwy. 280, car stalls. I have driven by numerous poor souls who have just been sitting in their car on the interstate or Hwy. 280 as others pass them by and I have felt so sorry for them. I have even said prayers thanking God that it wasn't me.
This time, it was me. The first thing I did was chuckle a little, followed by picking up my phone and calling Whitney. I'm not sure why I called her first except I knew she would laugh along with me. When she didn't answer, I called 911. The Mountain Brook dispatcher laughed a little with me as I apologized for calling her, not knowing what else to do. I gave her my name and she said she would send a patrol car right over. In the mean time, cars with their irritated drivers sped past (it seemed as though they thought I might have been sitting in the center lane, blocking traffic just for the heck of it), and I made a few more calls: one to John Mark Patrick who was going to come pick me up, and one to my dad, who I knew couldn't do much because he was out of town, but I needed his voice of wisdom anyway.
While talking to my daddy, I tried to start my car again, and this time it cranked! I moved to the side of the road to wait for John Mark. As I pulled off the road, my phone and it was the dispatcher. "Julie, this is the Mountain Brook dispatcher. Are you ok?" She sounded concerned. I assured her that I was fine and told her about my car starting. Again, she asked if I was ok. Turns out that someone had called to report a stalled car in the middle of 280 and the driver was slumped over the steering wheel. We both laughed, again and about that time, the police officer pulled up. Long story short, John Mark got there and followed me to Armstrong's in Cahaba Heights (shameless plug) where I left my car for observation and repair. Two days and not-as-much-money-as-I-thought later, I got my car back.
I am so grateful to Shea and John Mark who allowed me to use one of their vehicles while mine was being fixed. The Lord was so gracious to provide for me during the whole thing. I faced one of my fears this week and everything turned out just fine.
This time, it was me. The first thing I did was chuckle a little, followed by picking up my phone and calling Whitney. I'm not sure why I called her first except I knew she would laugh along with me. When she didn't answer, I called 911. The Mountain Brook dispatcher laughed a little with me as I apologized for calling her, not knowing what else to do. I gave her my name and she said she would send a patrol car right over. In the mean time, cars with their irritated drivers sped past (it seemed as though they thought I might have been sitting in the center lane, blocking traffic just for the heck of it), and I made a few more calls: one to John Mark Patrick who was going to come pick me up, and one to my dad, who I knew couldn't do much because he was out of town, but I needed his voice of wisdom anyway.
While talking to my daddy, I tried to start my car again, and this time it cranked! I moved to the side of the road to wait for John Mark. As I pulled off the road, my phone and it was the dispatcher. "Julie, this is the Mountain Brook dispatcher. Are you ok?" She sounded concerned. I assured her that I was fine and told her about my car starting. Again, she asked if I was ok. Turns out that someone had called to report a stalled car in the middle of 280 and the driver was slumped over the steering wheel. We both laughed, again and about that time, the police officer pulled up. Long story short, John Mark got there and followed me to Armstrong's in Cahaba Heights (shameless plug) where I left my car for observation and repair. Two days and not-as-much-money-as-I-thought later, I got my car back.
I am so grateful to Shea and John Mark who allowed me to use one of their vehicles while mine was being fixed. The Lord was so gracious to provide for me during the whole thing. I faced one of my fears this week and everything turned out just fine.
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