Jumping Jacks and Ode to Day Zero

More and more people have told me recently that they found my blog or told someone about my blog and that is great; I welcome that. But that has caused me to struggle a good bit with what to write here. There are things I want to write about but I feel like I have to censor myself because I don't want to offend anyone who may be reading this. Well, I've come to this conclusion: this is my blog and I'm going to write what I feel like writing and if someone is offended, I apologize. With that being said, I'm going to take a few lines and vent.

This has been a ridiculous week at work. My principal got wind that morale in the ranks was not good and that there were some unhappy teachers. It all started because our PE teachers, in an effort to provide real life experiences for our students by taking them on a field trip, had to cancel their classes for part of two days last week. Now, I understand that teachers need their time each day away from their students to plan, have conferences, get things done, and go to the bathroom. Heck, if I were in the classroom with students all day I would be screaming for a break as well. But what really gets me is that some of the one's who screamed so loudly about this were not affected by the change in schedule at all. Our boss designated Monday's faculty meeting as a "Gripe Session." He gave them the opportunity to voice their concerns, anonymously. If someone had a concern, they were to type it up and put it in a box in the teacher's lounge. I was very interested, and a little nervous, to see how this was going to go.

I have never been as frustrated (let's be honest here, I was angry) with some of my co-workers as I was this past Monday afternoon. There were probably 12 typed "documents" in the box and I would say that only about 1/2 of them were legitimate concerns about our students or the school, and several of those were repeats. The rest were petty, mean, vindictive, cowardly, personal attacks on our BOSS and about 5 other people. The authors of the 2-3 page crap would never have had the guts to say any of that had this not been anonymous.

In my opinion, if morale is low, it's not because of the paperwork or anything else listed in those pages. Morale is low because when we are not happy about something, we run to everyone who will listen and complain about it and the powers that be instead of taking our concerns directly to the one who is in charge. Morale is low because we are self-centered, self-righteous, arrogant people, who are only looking out for ourselves instead of what is best for our precious students. And I am the chief of all sinners here. I am just arrogant enough to think that I'm not one of "them," that I'm better than the pot stirrers and complainers, but I'm not. I don't do my job to the best of my ability. I complain about the complainers and other things I don't like. I talk about the people I don't like behind their backs. I look out for #1. I demand grace from others, not to mention from my Heavenly Father, but I don't want to give grace to those around me. For this and for so much more, I truly am sorry.

Yes, it has been a ridiculous week at school, but the Lord is using every bit of this to make me more like Christ. He has exposed my sin and that is hard, but He has also reminded me (through friends) that I am in desperate need of His grace and mercy every day. I was reminded that I deserve nothing except hell, and am owed nothing, but because of His great love for me, He has given me EVERYTHING through Christ Jesus.

We had a dance at school tonight. It was fun to watch the students, and some of the teachers, cut loose and have fun. I was gently reminded tonight that I have been blessed with this job. I am realizing more and more each day how much I truly LOVE the students at my school and that I love most of my co-workers (Lord, help me to love them all). Thank you, Lord!