I'm Not Alone

It was brought to my attention a while back that, around this time each year, I tend to withdraw from spending time with others. I'm glad my friends pointed this out and I now affectionately refer to this as "my yearly funk." I think I'm smack dab in the middle of it right now but I also think this one hasn't been as bad as previous funks. In the past I have chosen to isolate myself from everyone but this time I just don't want to be around big groups of people. I'm fine one-on-one or in small groups of 3 or 4.

After spending the week at home watching TV and reading, I ventured out tonight to a friend's house to cook out and watch basketball. Actually, I could not have cared less about the basketball, but I knew I needed to be social and I even wanted to be around a few other people. I spent a good bit of the night in the kitchen talking with Josie and one or two others and I really enjoyed that. At one point I went into the living room where others were watching the game and hanging out. I sat in my chair and listened and watched and was restless until I just couldn't stand it any more; I had to leave the room. I went back into the kitchen and as I talked with Josie and Ashton, I began to understand a little more of what I was feeling at that moment and had felt several times in the past few months...I don't like the way I feel about myself when I am in mixed company. I feel like I am in a competition for something. Turns out I'm not alone. It goes back to the idols of wanting approval and attention and to be included and I'm not the only one who feels this way. What's more, it isn't just the girls who are experiencing this.

So now I'm re-asking the question that Josie brought up: If most of us are feeling this way, what do we do to change things?