About 4-5 years ago, there was a student at my school who had a pretty big temper/rage problem. He did not like authority AT ALL but, for some reason, he and I had a good rapport. One day I got a call from the office that I was needed in one of the 5th grade classrooms. When I got upstairs, I found an empty classroom except for JT, who was in one of his rages. He was so angry that the teacher felt she needed to evacuate the room for the safety of the other students. I walked into the room with the other counselor, closed the door and just watched him as he ranted furiously around the room, growling, screaming, and slamming his fists on tables and into the walls. We tried talking to him to calm him down but it did not work. Finally, I just grabbed JT from behind and held on with all I had in me. He struggled against me and screamed for a couple of minutes, but soon, he calmed down and we were able to walk down to the office without another episode. I have no idea what set him off but if I had to guess, it probably involved being asked to do something he didn't think was fair or he got caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.
As I was praying for a friend this morning, this very vivid memory came flooding back to me, along with the words of Andrew Peterson's "The Good Confession." I have listened to this over and over recently and here is the part that sticks with me:
All I know is that I was blind but now I see that though I kick and scream, Love is leading me. And every step of the way his grace is making me; with every breath I breathe, he is saving me. And I believe.
My prayer for my friend, and for myself, is that our Father, who loves us greatly, would lead us to find our joy and delight in Him alone. Even though we kick and scream and struggle against your arms folded around us, I pray that Your grace would lead us to know your love and trust that You are good. Hosanna, save us from ourselves!
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ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that true story Julie. I think anyone can really see the love and grace of Christ through your experience. I think it was awesome how you just went up and held the child tight until they calmed down. I think sometimes we could all use that kind of love. Thanks again.
ReplyDeleteThanks, JJ. I had a hard time writing that post because I had a hard time putting my thoughts into words. What I didn't say was that it was easy for me to picture God holding onto me, like I did to JT, while I squirm and fight and scream for him to let me go but all the while, He holds on tighter. My cry is that He holds on tighter.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this and for praying that for yourself and for others. My prayer is that everyone would have that kind of community around them.
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