Aren't They Precious?

In one of my earlier posts, from quite a while back, I mentioned that I'm really enjoying my school year so far. Here are just a few of the reasons why.





This is part of my favorite class. They are April Clayton's kindergarten class and they are precious! Just look at those faces. Who wouldn't love them? I wish you could meet them.

7 Hours Later (Well Almost)

Judah is here!
And he is precious!!!!!!!!
To see more photos, please visit Shea and John Marks blog.
There's a link over to the right.

Not Again

I went to a friend's house to watch Christmas Vacation tonight. It was so good to be around people and laugh. It wasn't long after the movie was over though, that I knew I had to leave. I was getting that feeling of an impending inner struggle. On the way home, while listening to Behold the Lamb of God, I began to think back over today's sermon and pray through those annoying emotions and insecurities. I knew that the insecurity brewing inside was only a symptom of a deeper issue and the more I thought about it, prayed about it, and talked it over with Whitney, the more obvious things became. That idol of acceptance and being included that I fought with several months ago, was/is back. Here's my question: how is it that I can struggle with this for a little while, then for a long while there is no struggle, and all of a sudden it's back? Whitney offered one explanation which I think might be pretty accurate. It could be that this idol is now fat and happy because it has been fed for the past several months. I've been accepted and included and therefore temporarily satisfied. Please don't misunderstand; I'm not being ostracized or ignored and people aren't being mean to me but a couple of relationships are changing slightly (and that's okay), leaving me scrambling for something to (melodramatically speaking) cling to. The bottom line is, once again, I am looking to humans to provide for me emotionally. To stroke my ego and reinforce my worth. I'm not trusting in Christ alone to meet those needs. I don't really believe that God will take care of me. Hebrews 2:13 "I will put my trust in him." I want to believe that He will meet my every need. Lord, help my unbelief. Right now, I'm just thankful that He is able to calm that struggle inside.

Blubbering Idiot

I'm a "feeler", not a "thinker." I will eventually get around to the thinking, but I'm going to feel things first. Lately, I've been doing more than my share of "feeling." Just ask anyone who has been around me the past few weeks; tears have become a regular part of my days. Who knew a person could experience so many different emotions at one time. Here are a couple of examples....

I don't do well with major life change. I have just gotten used to the fact the Shea and John Mark (JMP) are married. After almost 5 years, it's about time. Now, two of my dearest friends are having a baby; tomorrow, to be exact. I am so excited I can't stand it! Judah Griffin is a precious gift to Shea and JMP and my heart is bursting with joy for them. I cry just thinking about it (seriously, what is wrong with me?!). I can't wait to watch these two become parents. It's hard to forget the days when neither of them knew what to do with a baby, much less a new born. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in their home over the next several months. It's been a big weekend for the Patricks; along with the baby news, JMP graduated from seminary yesterday. While I really do rejoice with them over these two incredible milestones in their lives, I know that one day, sooner than I care to think about, they will be moving. No one knows exactly where to right now, or even when, but it's coming. The thought of that scares and saddens me greatly. I can't begin to imagine my life without the two of them. I know I'm jumping the gun on this a little bit, but I can't help but think about it.

This has been an incredible Christmas for me so far. Tuesday night's, Behold the Lamb of God by Andrew Peterson, was incredible! I haven't stopped listening to it since. The music walks us through God's plan of redemption from the beginning of the Old Testament to the birth of Christ. Before the foundation of the world, God ordained and orchestrated every moment in history to point to the coming Savior, Messiah, Redeemer. He came as a little baby, fully God, yet fully man, for the sole purpose of dying to save us from our sins. He was born to die! Without Christmas, there would be no Easter morning. As I've said before, I am completely overwhelmed by my Father's great love for me.

There is so much more that I could share right now but this is already too long and I don't want people thinking I'm a basket case so I'll stop here. If you ask how I am doing, don't be surprised if I just stare at you blankly. I probably don't know how to answer that question. Emotions are good things; we were created with them. But I've learned over the past years that my emotions don't dictate my reality. The reality is that God is in complete control over every aspect of my life and He WILL take care of me, even if it feels like everything is falling apart around me. Jill Phillips sings a song called "I Am" and the chorus is a great reminder of just who my Savior is.

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
And the tide can change so fast
But I will stay
The same through past the same in future the same today

I am constant
I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy
I am wise
I’m the only one who knows your heart’s desires
Your heart’s desires

Oh weary tired and worn
Let out your sighs
Drop that heavy load you hold cause mine is light
And I know you through and through
There’s no need to hide
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

www.jillphillips.com/songs

My Theme

A friend asked me the other day if I was enjoying the Christmas season so far this year. I was able to answer immediately...YES! One phrase keeps coming back to me; "Emmanuel, God with us." I've heard that over and over for many years, but this year the meaning of it really hit home with me. God with us. The God of all creation came to earth to be with us. How much more loving and personal and intimate can you get? I am overcome with His great love for me!

Joy to the World

Mariah adds her own touches...you may or may not like them.


Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the earth, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.