Not Again

I went to a friend's house to watch Christmas Vacation tonight. It was so good to be around people and laugh. It wasn't long after the movie was over though, that I knew I had to leave. I was getting that feeling of an impending inner struggle. On the way home, while listening to Behold the Lamb of God, I began to think back over today's sermon and pray through those annoying emotions and insecurities. I knew that the insecurity brewing inside was only a symptom of a deeper issue and the more I thought about it, prayed about it, and talked it over with Whitney, the more obvious things became. That idol of acceptance and being included that I fought with several months ago, was/is back. Here's my question: how is it that I can struggle with this for a little while, then for a long while there is no struggle, and all of a sudden it's back? Whitney offered one explanation which I think might be pretty accurate. It could be that this idol is now fat and happy because it has been fed for the past several months. I've been accepted and included and therefore temporarily satisfied. Please don't misunderstand; I'm not being ostracized or ignored and people aren't being mean to me but a couple of relationships are changing slightly (and that's okay), leaving me scrambling for something to (melodramatically speaking) cling to. The bottom line is, once again, I am looking to humans to provide for me emotionally. To stroke my ego and reinforce my worth. I'm not trusting in Christ alone to meet those needs. I don't really believe that God will take care of me. Hebrews 2:13 "I will put my trust in him." I want to believe that He will meet my every need. Lord, help my unbelief. Right now, I'm just thankful that He is able to calm that struggle inside.